Tuesday, May 5, 2009

"Saying 'I do' before graduation day"

  Four years of college, off to graduate school, on to track down the dream career, date around here and there and finally settle down by the age of 27. This might describe the journey many "20-somethings" have embarked upon, but for some, life-long commitment comes much sooner. 

  The unconventional loft apartment, home to a newly married couple and their teacup poodle, Trudy, is lined with shag carpet and surrounded by concrete walls painted a neutral shade of brownish gray.  Up the spiral staircase the master bedroom sits overlooking East Lafayette Street. Through the bathroom is a large closet perfectly organized with matching wooden hangers.

  The apartment neatly reflects its owners, John and Lisa Arnold, Union University graduate and current senior accounting major respectively. John, dressed in gray slacks and a crisp button down shirt, throws a toy to Trudy enticing her to run and get it. Lisa is dressed for dinner in a retro floral skirt and cardigan with pointy toe shoes.

  "We are like an old couple," Lisa says smiling at her new hubby. "I knew pretty early on Lisa was a part of my life and it would be weird not to have her," John says in a matter-of-fact tone. 

  During one of their usual Friday night dates at Picasso, an Italian bistro in Jackson, John surprised Lisa by asking her to spend the rest of her life with him. He presented her with two symbols of his love that night: a beautiful oval-shaped canary yellow diamond ring with antique detailing, and a light yellow KitchenAid mixer--a long-time desire of Lisa’s. 

  The pair was married in January 2009, one semester before Lisa’s graduation. They decided to marry then mainly because they wanted to have time to enjoy each other before getting jobs and moving to a new city. 

  "Marriage as a student is fine for us because it is short term," Lisa said, adding, "we would not want to be married in college for several years, though, because we would miss out on a lot of things."

  On the opposite side of Jackson sits an old three-bedroom house in which lives another couple, their cat, Jodi, and their dog, Sage. 

  Stir fry is cooking on top of the stove and paw marks make their way across the tile floor as the cat sweeps across her owners’ ankles into the dining room. The walls are bright purple and the kitchen table is covered with papers and books. 

  Travis and Courtney Tidwell have been married for almost two years and have lived in thier house for most of that time. Courtney, senior psychology major at Union, stands barefoot cutting vegetables wearing a yellow floor-length dress with her tousled hair pulled into a ponytail revealing the word “faith” tattooed across her shoulder. Travis, wearing a blue T-shirt and jeans, is in charge of stirring the mixture to be placed over rice later on.  

  Courtney describes the day of the couple’s engagement as Valentine’s Day 2006 when Travis, who lived an hour and a half away at the time, surprised her in her dorm with roses, a poem and a tasteful princess cut engagement ring. The two were married during the summer after Courtney’s sophomore year of college. 

  "Travis and I met when we were very young and once I went to college, we could not handle the distance from each other," Courtney says. "We knew we were going to get married eventually; why wait?" 

  Travis and Courtney have hectic schedules and struggle to find time throughout the day to spend with each other. Travis works during the day while Courtney is at school, and she works at night three days a week. They try to spend time with each other after Courtney gets home from work, and on the evenings she does not work they make dinner together. Courtney says she has learned a lot about time management. 

  “I have to be very diligent with delegating my time,” she says, adding, “my study habits have improved because I have had to be so disciplined.” 

  For John and Lisa, quality time is key.

  “I try to stay at school in between my classes and work on homework so when I am home I can separate school life and home life and spend time with John,” Lisa says while sitting on the red love seat holding John's hand. 

  “He makes dinner because he is home before me,” Lisa says. “We eat together at the kitchen table because it makes us talk to each other.” 

  At night the couple enjoys watching TV, going on walks or grabbing a coffee at one of their favorite downtown spots, the Green Frog.  By 10:30 p.m., they are off to bed. 

  When it comes to life as a married college student, Lisa says there are some differences, though she says she is just as involved on campus now as she was before marriage. John whispers “she is more involved.”  She has several leadership roles at Union and maintains relationships with her college friends.

  Courtney on the other hand, says life as a married college student has kept her from being as involved as she was during her first two years. Although, she has found time to play intramural basketball and was involved in leading a campus Bible study for women last year. 

  The thing John and Lisa like the most about being married is not having to leave each other at the end of the day. 

  “I feel more settled and at home (with John) than I did before (marriage),” Lisa says sweetly glancing toward John as if seeking approval of her statement.

  Though Lisa is still involved at Union, the pair advises students planning to get married before graduation to be ready to accept the fact they will not be able to do certain things anymore that they might have done before marriage. 

  “You have to be ready to face the reality that you might never go backpacking across Europe with your best girlfriends after you get married,” she says with a chuckle. 

  Courtney agrees there are things married college students cannot do like they could before. 

  “If there is a battle between wanting to live the college life and wanting to be married, there will be friction; marriage has to be your priority,” Courtney says. 

  Courtney plans to attend graduate school after college to pursue a career in psychology. Travis already works a full-time job in Jackson. 

  Marriage as a college student is described by Courtney as “crazy, hectic and wonderful.” 

  Her advice to engaged couples: “Do more listening than talking.”


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